The Truth About Love! It is nothing without God!

Understanding

According to the dictionary, love is a feeling or disposition of deep affection or fondness for someone, typically arising from recognizing attractive qualities!

Love is one of the most powerful emotions we share. Because love is a powerful emotion, it can bring joy, happiness, and peace to someone’s life, but also pain, sadness, and tribulations. Without the choice to lead with the Love of the Lord, it can be a struggle to determine where we are on the scale. Are we pouring into others, or are we taking from others? I am sure we have all heard of the different love languages! They are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. They are universal terms for giving and receiving love in all relationships.

Perspective

I am entering my ninth year of marriage; in my marriage, we have gone through our mental and emotional battles. Choosing to spend life with someone is a choice that is made daily! In lifelong relationships, mismanaging the input and output of love can turn love and other emotions into weapons! In love, we can smother each other with love or alienate one another by how our passion is mismanaged. Without understanding how we give and receive love ourselves, we can unintentionally cause or bring unwanted emotional trauma into our home and other interpersonal relationships, masking them as love, such as anger, stress, and doubt. Above all, it is vital to seek and understand how God loves each one of us!

Maintaining emotional stability is the most essential practice with any emotion. It can be mentally and emotionally damaging to ourselves and the people around us if we mismanage the feelings we give and receive. Previously, I was a police officer for approximately seven years. In that role, I have dealt with couples who are married, dating, or otherwise involved; I have seen what love does without understanding. Furthermore, numerous interactions between parents and their children have had negative results due to a lack of emotional understanding for the parents and children.

Love is Patient and Kind

We are often reactionary when it comes to our mental well-being. After pain or trauma has occurred, we take the necessary steps to build a solid foundation to prevent that hurt from happening again. I truly believe that during times of High Tide, 1 Corinthians 13 is crucial for our understanding of love. Firstly, we need to understand how love operates from a biblical perspective! In the past, I would mask all emotions with anger. I am growing and trying to understand my feelings and their role in my life, internally and externally. Secondly, we need to show love without the weight of expectations intentionally. Seemingly, more people than myself struggle with fearing being loved or loving someone improperly.

Something I will repeat more often than not is that people are not perfect. God has loved me through High Tides, and in every moment, I have chosen not to give my hurt to him. God has loved me in my sin and received nothing but me running from Him.

Love Perseveres

There was a time when I did not know how to process giving love healthily. Love was equal to attention, whether negative or positive. How I managed relationships allowed me not to have to navigate my heart. Even so, I found that I could take advantage of or manipulate that fondness others had for me if I disregarded the self-reflection. Maybe I felt somebody had done it to me, and in return, I will do it to others. I learned nothing else mattered if I received what I thought I needed from someone else. Life is easy when you only have to worry about yourself.

The Battle

In turn, I became great at internal isolation. To this day, I can lock myself up internally. In the past, I thought locking myself away internally was healing, but I was destroying myself mentally and emotionally. Being a husband and a father, initially, I believed that sinking into myself would save my family from whatever I was struggling with. Without a doubt, I found it more accessible and easier to fall into the Tide and remove myself from my family. I had built a wall around myself to “protect my family,” but I was only protecting myself from dealing with the war within. Moreover, in “protecting my family,” I allowed the devil to tell me my family doesn’t need or want me. It would be better for them if I struggled or fixed myself alone.

It became too hard to put on a fake smile. I had sunk into the High Tide; I had fallen into a fear of abandonment, inadequacy, and rejection—a lack of understanding and knowledge. I was countering 1 Corinthians 13 most of the time. Not only was I drowning, but I also let myself believe there was no option for help!

Reflection

In times like these, pursuing the word, especially 1 Corinthians 13, would have given me solace in the storm. I am learning and finding new struggles daily; God is with me every day. It was when I tried to place all my faith in myself or someone around me. I choose to put my trust in the Lord and lead with love. Whatever gifts God has given me should be used by me to serve him and show to others.

First and foremost, I praise God today for the family I have. Secondly, I would have never taken the time to love myself if I did not have a wife and children to love. Thirdly, I never would have thought I could love my family correctly if I didn’t know what love is for me. Finally, I cannot expect anyone to love me if I don’t love myself.

If you are struggling like I have, know you are not alone. Give 1 Corinthians 13 a read if you feel led. It is only 13 verses! I hope it can be a lifeboat for someone battling their storm!