We Need To Be Free Of Anger… Emotional Control

What Role Does Anger Play in Your Life

Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure, dissatisfaction, or annoyance, generally combined with antagonism or hostility towards a particular cause or object!

All people, regardless of age, ethnicity, or other factors, have experienced anger. As we walk through life and make connections, in an attempt to make “meaningful” connections, we share our hearts with others. We give our trust to others, and with that trust comes expectations. We also try to put all faith in ourselves and leave God out of our faith until we need Him. As a part of the human condition, we are not perfect. Generally, people do not claim to be perfect, but we are still constantly humbled that we are not perfect.

Reflection of Anger

As a husband, I have brought my wife to anger in some way, shape, or form. As a father, I can guarantee my daughters do not always love the precautions I take to protect them. I must protect them from how and who the world will tell them they must be. Also, build them up so they are spiritually, mentally, and physically comfortable being who God created them to be!

As a child, I grew up in an area where fighting and other forms of violence were normal and seemingly socially acceptable. I have memories of getting into fistfights as early as I can remember, being able to make my hands into fists. For me, growing up in an environment where violence is a right of passage, it is easy to become quick to anger. It was easier to wear what I thought was a warrior’s mask than to live in a debilitating state of fear. In times of anger, if there was a physical altercation. I would black out and lose portions of time until that episode was over. I was unknowingly and uncontrollably sinking into myself due to my inability to manage my emotions. These episodes were so frequent during moments of anger that it became customary for me to lose control. I began to expect it from myself, and as a child, I did not have the mental or emotional aptitude to relay, “Hey, Mom, I think something is wrong with me.” Also, this emotional state had become my norm!

Understanding emotional connections

It took me 25 years of living with a false sense of security before I realized how my anger carried me into a state of High Tide. I would be emotionally drowning and not understand how I had gotten so deep or so lost in my emotions. Then, I would revert to anger if embarrassment, annoyance, or discomfort existed. Through connections with friends, family, and authority figures, I saw that anger was the mask I wore to protect myself from dealing with the other emotions inside me. If I was angry, I could not be weak. When I was angry, I felt the most protected or untouchable. How I used my anger, in a way, became how I equated my manhood. It was not until I had a daughter that I had to reflect on my anger differently and try to view it from her eyes. If I lose control, how will she see me? If I continue to facilitate this anger, would I create the same environment I grew up in for her, but in our own home? With this change in perception, I could view my anger as a problem, not a solution.

Internal Relationships With Emotions

I learned in fatherhood that just because some behaviors are expected does not make them acceptable! It was time to understand why this was my reaction instead of just reacting. I now believe that anger is an important emotion; at some point, it may be necessary. But it is not more important than any other emotion. It also should not be used in place of fear, sadness, anxiety, or happiness and love. Another emotion may be more apropos in certain areas and aspects of life. Still, if there is no understanding of oneself, it is tough to wade through some of the sinking emotions you need to understand or learn from some of the lessons on your path.

Practice and Promote Peace

James 1:19-20 says, “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (ESV)

However, it took me years to overcome anger, and I began practicing peace. Firstly, my prayer for every member of the High Tide community is to be where God wants them to be. Secondly, in all things, seek the Lord. Third, seek understanding of yourself and those you allow around you.

Due to years of sinking into myself, the exhaustion of treading water mentally and emotionally, and still barely keeping my head above water. I, with excruciating intention, have to be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. I still want to instantly react emotionally, but I take pride in breathing through, seeking understanding in certain situations, and walking away from others.

If you are struggling like I have, know you are not alone. If you feel led, read James Chapter 1. It is only 27 verses. I hope it can be a lifeboat for someone battling their storm!